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Dr. Liz’s latest videos, interviews, and expert advice

How do I practice BDSM safely as a beginner?

I am newly exploring the BDSM community. What is your advice to practice safely as a beginner? So, I love this question because it lets me say the thing that I always say which is that safe isn’t really a thing. We can do safer. We can do risk-aware. We can do managing our risk. […]

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Are relationships supposed to be 50/50?

Are relationships supposed to be 50/50? This is a great question because I think that it is – I get to give another therapist answer, which is a big like “It depends.” When we talk about a relationship being 50/50, what I will often talk with about clients or friends is, is your relationship equitable? […]

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Are kinks hereditary?

How are kinks usually developed? Are they hereditary? So hereditary is a fascinating question. When we look at whatever science we have around things like desire which is where kink stuff would be under the larger umbrella like related to who are attracted to, why are you attracted to them, what kind of sex acts […]

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Is polyamory a sexuality?

Is polyamory a sexuality? This is such a loaded question because I think that often this comes up in a debate around whether polyamory is a version of queerness, whether you are queer if you are polyamorous, whether polyamory fits under, belongs under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. And the reason that it’s often heated and very […]

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How do I find the right relationship structure for me?

How do I find the right relationship structure for me? This is a hard question to answer. God! I’m such a therapist, right? This is a hard question to answer because I don’t think that any person has like one right relationship structure. I think that our relationship structures are a product of who we […]

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How do I balance the ‘mental load’ in my relationships?

“I feel like I take on the majority of the mental load of my partner and I don’t know how to find balance. Do you have any advice that can help me?” So for anyone who doesn’t know, the mental load is a term that was coined by a person whose name I’ve just forgotten […]

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How can I stick with my New Year’s resolutions?

"Every year I try to make New Year’s resolutions and can never stick with them. How can I actually stick with my New Year’s resolutions?" So this is – it’s so funny that I got this question because it has come up a ton in a bunch of my sessions with my coaching and therapy […]

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What do I do when meeting my metamour for the first time?

Do you have advice on meeting a partner’s partner for the first time? So in polyamory, we call your partner’s partner your metamour. The big pieces of advice I have for meeting a metamour for the first time are number one, make sure that the hinge partner, so that’s the person for whom you are […]

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How can I get through the holidays without getting burnt out?

How do I find the balance between taking care of my responsibilities and not overdoing it, especially with the holiday season? This is such a great question. And I think it’s one of those questions that I’m going to give like a frustrating therapist answer to because the thing about burnout is the only way […]

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Is rebounding normal after a breakup if you’re polyamorous?

Is it normal to want to rebound after a poly breakup but not wanting to rebound to the other existing partners? So this is a really interesting question and I think for me when I first heard the question I was like, “Yeah, of course.” Right? The thing about a rebound is that I think […]

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