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Dr. Liz’s latest videos, interviews, and expert advice

What are signs that you’re in a toxic relationship?

What are signs that you’re in a toxic relationship? Sometimes it feels hard to tell. So I think that there are a lot of signs here, some of which will be deeply personal to each individual person and some of which are kind of more general.  I think a more general one is if you […]

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How Bell Hooks Restructured My Mindset Around Love

I’ve heard you mention a lot about Bell Hooks’ book All About Love and restructuring the mindset around love. Can you talk more about that? So, Bell Hooks is a really fantastic feminist theorist who has written a lot about various aspects of the experience, particularly of being a black woman in America and one […]

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Is it wrong to go to bed angry with a partner?

Do you think it’s wrong to go to bed angry when in a disagreement with a partner? No. I strongly encourage you to pause the argument and go to bed. I think that there is this like saying, this old wives’ tale, this idea we have a lot of times that like never go to […]

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How does couple’s counseling for non-monogamous folks work?

How does couple’s counseling for non-monogamous folks work? So this is actually a very interesting question. When people talk about marriage therapy, couple’s therapy, it assumes this dyadic relationship, dyadic meaning two, and so those of us who do work with people who are polyamorous, who are non-monogamous, a lot of times what we have […]

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Are You ‘Queer Enough’ for Pride?
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Does Kink Belong at Pride?

Does kink belong at Pride? Yes, kink absolutely belongs at Pride. In fact, a lot of the people who are a part of the Stonewall riots were leather folk, were kinksters. Kink has always been a part of Pride. In fact, Pride’s origins are not as like a family-friendly get together. Pride was a riot. […]

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Can you be polyamorous and asexual?

“Can you be polyamorous and asexual?” Yes. Yeah. So polyamory is about the practice or the intention to have multiple loving relationships with the full knowledge and consent of everybody involved. For a lot of us, that does involve sex. I hate it when people are like, “Polyamory isn’t about sex.” It may not be […]

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What are the different types of humiliation play?

“Can you talk about some of the different kinds of humiliation play?” So this person in particular was asking about SPH, which is small penis humiliation. But there is a bunch of different kinds that kind of fall along those lines in humiliation play. So a lot of humiliation play is kind of more specific […]

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How Do You Empathetically Down-Level With Your Partner?

“How do I de-escalate empathetically with a partner?”  So there’s a great worksheet in my book for this. It’s the down-leveling worksheet. You can find all the worksheets from my book for free on my website,  I think the best thing to think about here is, think about it as not like you doing […]

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Expert Tips for Sex Party Safety

“I’m interested in attending a sex party but don’t know where to start. I want to make sure I’m being safe and also, a little nervous.” I have so many questions. You know, therapist, this is what we do. When you say you want to make sure you’re being safe, what kind of safety are […]

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