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What are the different types of humiliation play?

May 9, 2024

“Can you talk about some of the different kinds of humiliation play?”

So this person in particular was asking about SPH, which is small penis humiliation.

But there is a bunch of different kinds that kind of fall along those lines in humiliation play.

So a lot of humiliation play is kind of more specific to the person.

But there are some kind of more common subtypes that you see more frequently, one of which would be small penis humiliation.

So that’s a very popular one where you basically fun of the size of someone’s penis if it’s small.

Cuckolding is another really common one where cuckolding as a humiliation play tends to be about the inability of the romantic partner to fulfill the sexual needs of their partner so their partner has to cheat on them with somebody else, showing them how like insufficient they are and how much better this other person is.

Forced feminization or sissification is another fairly common subcategory which is about taking someone who identifies as a cisgender man and forcing them to wear woman’s clothing and do feminine activities, maybe calling them by a female name.

Sometimes this involves pegging or sometimes it can involve like forced homosexual acts, that kind of thing.

There is a type of humiliation play that some people do is race play.

And if you’re noticing a theme here where the things that are the common subcategories of humiliation play tend to go along axes of societal oppression and privilege, you’re absolutely right.

A whole lot of humiliation play is about kind of poking at the societal axes of oppression and privilege, which is why it is really, really important for people who want to do humiliation play especially along these lines to do a lot of the work of unpacking those societal messages about privilege and oppression before they do that play.

The reason that forced feminization is humiliating is because women are worse than men.

It’s why it’s humiliating.

Right?

The reason that small penis humiliation is humiliating is because you’re a real man if you have a big dick.

And so that relates to patriarchy.

It relates to ideas about masculinity.

The reason that cuckolding is humiliating is again, because of this idea like a man being unable to sexually satisfy his partner.

It’s almost always about a man being unable to sexually satisfy his partner.

And so, a lot of these revolve along these axes that are related to patriarchy and what it is to be a man and the constraints of what some people call like the man box or the act like a man box.

Race play obviously is about societal racism.

It can be societal anti-blackness.

It can be a lot of different dimensions along there.

A common axis of humiliation has to do with like intelligence which is related to cultural ableism.

All of these things tend to be related to some way in which people are worried that they are not living up to their privilege category and that they are falling short, and that is a lot of how the humiliation works.

Foursome sexual behavior is humiliating because being gay is bad, because of cultural homophobia.

Right?

And so, all of this is kind of interrelated to those axes.

This is not to say that it is bad to be into these things.

This is just to say that if you’re into these kinds of humiliation play, many kinds, almost – I would say the vast majority of humiliation play again, rests on ways that we interact with the societal axes of privilege and oppression.

It behooves you to understand why you’re playing with it, where it comes from, and to do the work of unpacking your own biases, unpacking your own ways that you fall into those axes of privilege and oppression so that when you do it, you’re not causing further damage to the people involved.

If you are wanting to do a scene about someone’s intelligence, you need to be unpacking your internalized ableism first.

If you want to do a scene about forced feminization, you need to unpack your internalized misogyny and transphobia.

All of these things are important to unpack.

Small penis humiliation, again, as with many of these, can be a way of taking something that societally you are told is bad or wrong about yourself and kind of reclaiming it in a way that feels better for you.

So saying like, “Yeah, everybody thinks I’m terrible for having a small dick and you’re going to make fun of me for it, but I’m going to enjoy that and get off on that.”

So there can be an element of reclamation in the ways that humiliation play interacts with these axes of privilege and oppression.

And again, if the way you are playing with it is about being forced into a role you don’t normally occupy and don’t generally identify with, just be aware of like how that interact with your ability to move through a world where those kinds of oppression are very real and placed upon people who can’t exit them as soon as they exit a scene.

With humiliation play, there are as many different ways to do it as there are people who are doing it.

Anything that gets at your own sense of embarrassment or uncertainty or shame can be within this realm.

And so there is any number of ways that it can show up.

And it often again, clusters around these particular themes related to ways in which our culture tells us certain kinds of people are bad, certain ways of being are bad.

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